Well, before I get to the matter at hand, I wanted to talk a little bit about the very sad news about my bestie Christine Meyer Schild who served as my attorney when I sued that fat bald bastard over this very parody site.
Several days ago, the verdict on Christine's legal career was published, and it is no wonder she was such a huge supporter of Dr. Birdwell, for beneath her calm demeanor, her regal bearing and presence, apparently lies the heart of a scoundrel, reprobate, rapscallion, fraudster, swindler, bounder, cheat and trickster. In fact, no less of an authority than The Arizona State Bar Association came to this conclusion, and after lying to the Bar Examiner Tribunal, and presenting false evidence in court, Christine Meyer Schild agreed with their conclusion.
I am going to reprint the ruling here, because I would never have believed that Christine would involved herself in such trickery.
CHRISTINE M. SCHILD
Bar No. 015544; File No. 19-3176
POJ No. 2020-9029
By final judgment and order dated April 17, 2020, the presiding disciplinary judge accepted an agreement for discipline by consent by which Christine M. Schild, Scottsdale, Ariz., was suspended for six months and one day, effective immediately. Ms. Schild also was assessed the State Bar's costs and expenses totaling $1,200.
Ms. Schild is admitted to multiple state bars. She practiced intermittently in Arizona until retiring in 2014 due to a disability. In defending a previous discipline charge she acknowledged that she misled the public in Arizona and elsewhere by publishing statements she made during a school board write-in campaign that she was an active attorney licensed to practice law. The State Bar dismissed that charge with a comment, but that dismissal formed a background for this case.
In four separate civil cases that followed in Arizona she committed the unauthorized practice of law. She was often untruthful, insinuated that she could influence government officials, acted unprofessionally during settlement conferences, was repeatedly and intentionally untruthful in her deposition, and misled bar counsel in this proceeding.
Aggravating factors: A pattern of misconduct; multiple offenses; submission of false evidence, false statements, or other deceptive practices during the disciplinary process; substantial experience in the practice of law; and illegal conduct.
Mitigating factors: absence of a prior disciplinary record, absence of a dishonest or selfish motive, and personal or emotional problems.
Ms. Schild violated Rule 42, Aruz.R.S.CT., ERs 3.3 (candor to tribunal), 5.5 (unauthorized practice of law), 8.1 (false statements/failure to disclose), and 8.4(c) (deceit).
It is kind of unbelievable that a moron like me would hire a compulsive liar who has such little respect for herself that she would engage in so many illegal activities. I was willing to overlook her prior guilty plea for threatening to kill two people with a gun, but I think I have to draw the line somewhere, and this might be it. I think Sandy will still be using her services because it was Sandy who introduced me to her. Sandy is loyal like that.
Ok, I have some thinking to do and I really hope I don't kill your children with the virus.