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  • Writer's pictureBarbara Perleberg

Sh-t. Norton exposed our land deal.

Really, this is one of those days when I have spent a lot of time on creating a new enemies list for the fall term, and I am about half way thorough with it and Kim and Pam say it better be done by like, tomorrow, or Kay says I will be toast, toast, toast. By the way, have you ever huffed the cleaning solution you use on whiteboards? I have to confess I am a wee bit buzzed. Pam Kirby told me that Diane Douglas actually showed her how to huff the cleaning solution and I think Douglas has done it so many times that she is really serious about erasing evolution from the AZ science textbooks. I don't really care about the evolution thing, but I would like her to re-write the history textbooks so that we have a more balanced truth about World War II and the kids can read a more sympathetic portrayal of those people who fought loyally for the Fatherland. And guess what, speaking of the Fatherland, I just found out that Norton is Muslim and he like lives in a huge tent in the desert with many wives and practices falconry. Supposedly, each falcon is outfitted with a very sensitive microphone and video recording equipment so that it has the sensitivity of a spy satellite. I think this has to be true and I think he has those falcons trained to follow the doings of the LadyBoard because like, he posted an article today about this little land deal Pam Kirby has cooked up for all of us, and I swear, he has it like word for word, almost as if he was eavesdropping on our last secret meeting, which was two nights ago after that salary meeting about the District. I'm no 007, I mean not as good as Pam at being a spy is or Denisey, but I know we were being followed. So, I got to the DMP, (which was not numbered and if it is not numbered it means that it is not one of our homes) which for this night was the adult toy store on Scottsdale road and Shea called Fascinations. They're trying to change their image and get away from the toys and bondage stuff etc., but they are still a pretty smutty place and the perfect place for the LadyBoard to meet in private because they let us use the back room. Sandy will not meet there unless she brings her tazer, but Pam kind of has the run of the place because you guessed it, she is an investor in the chain. Like they are developing a whole line of S&M products featuring her picture in a catsuit as their logo and it's for people who are into that whole S&M thing, like whips and paddles and all that crazy stuff they have in that 50 Shades book I tried to read. You know this is the thing about me, even though I was an English major in college, I'm not much for books. I say better to sit down, watch Lifetime, and learn what you can there, and of course it's free because it comes with your basic cable package. If you actually want to read a book, you have to download it, and then sit down and read it, and that will cut into my Lifetime Television viewing time.

Ok, so how I know we were under surveillance was that when we came out of our Ladyboard meeting at Fascinations, there was about a half pound of bird poop in the center of the hood of my car and the when I took the car to be washed the guy there said it was falcon poop because he could tell because of the way it started to eat into the paint. He said it was a good think it did not land on my arm because he has a cousin named Earl who had a falcon poop on his arm and it later had to be amputated. I bet Norton can make those Falcons poop on command. He is that evil.

Okay, back on point, well here is what that Norton wrote tonight on that Facebook Page of his:

360 DAYS FROM TODAY SUSD/KIRBY WILL HAND THIS INCREDIBLE ~$40 MILLION PARCEL OF SUSD LAND TO CONDO DEVELOPERS FOR FREE - Launching a 300 Unit $1,000/foot condo project that will generate a Half Billion Dollars or more of Sales Proceeds to DMB. or its assignee.

Free, you ask? Surely something must be paid to SUSD for a $500M Real Estate Project, right? And the answer is "NO". SUSD will receive nothing. We will give it away (one would have to ask what kind of "favors" might come with that deed, because, you know, those things seem to happen at SUSD these days, right?)

Why on earth would SUSD do that? Well, you'll have to ask Pam Kirby​, because she's the one who's been stonewalling for years first pretending the land didn't exist, then pretending no one knew where the contracts were (in cooperation with Dave Peterson and Dan O'Brien), then pretending we have no money or need for the land and now hoping no one calls her out on this issue - even though she knows we will.

SUSD has money to build Soccer Fields on the 68th and Oak Street property that formerly housed Tonalea Elementary School. So why can we not do the same on this property? Well, of course, we can and we should but we won't because we're engaged in another game of treating SUSD like little more than a great big grown up version of a Monopoly Game Board.

How does SUSD/Kirby get away with giving land to a Developer? Therein lies the trick. You see, the Dedication of the Land requires that a school use improvement project be commenced not later than May 2019. Otherwise the land reverts back to DMB/DC Ranch.

So all SUSD/Kirby must do to hand the land back is drag their collective feet for 360 more days and then say, "wow, gee, look how the time flew by" and one of the great scams in a history of incredible scams will have been pulled off successfully.

SO WHY IS NO ONE DOING ANYTHING TO STOP THIS? Ah - we've tried. Close to a dozen people have been involved in trying to convince SUSD to build something - anything - an equipment shed - a soccer field - ANYTHING that can be built before May 2019 to avoid giving the land back. Copper Ridge parents have even offered to pay for the improvements themselves.

SO WHY DOES SUSD SAY "NO" IF THE PARENTS WILL BUILD IT? Yeah. Really. Ask yourself that question many times and see if you can think of a reason other than cozy deals rigged for the developers because we sure can't.

WHAT IS THE STATUS TODAY? There was a Bond Oversight Committee Meeting on Tuesday the 22nd (yup - those are going again and going quite well, actually) . The Copper Ridge project came up. We were told to "discuss it with Michelle Marshall" - which sounds like the deadest of dead ends to us, but we're going to try it. Who knows.

Here is the eeriest thing, like this is almost verbatim the plan that Pam Kirby explained to us in the back room of Fascinations, and the deal will be very lucrative to the LadyBoard, if we can all just get re-elected and steer the land back to DMB - and believe me, we were all listening in rapt attention until Sandy backed up and accidentally knocked over a display rack of vibrators, which turned on and made this crazy buzzing sound as they rattled around on the concrete floor. They were hopping around on the floor like those wind up chattering teeth.

So anyway, Pam Kirby says that if you think that we've been on the Board for as long as we have, and endured the abuse that we get dumped on us because we're idiots, and don't expect us to leave without a little something to show for our efforts, then you are crazy. Pam Kirby is pulling out all the stops on this land deal and has a plan to buy some yellow cake uranium and spread it out on the property so that the land can be condemned if she gets voted out of office. She said the people that vote are too stupid to pay attention to this, so I have to trust her that she and Kim will get re-elected and we can pull this one off. I just hope that Derek, Yihyun and Lindsey don't read that stupid ROSS site, and for f-cks sake, do not under any circumstance tell Susan Hughes, because my ass is still sore over the whole Laura Smith deal. Also, I think we are going to meet at Pam's dispensary in a few days, the one behind the post office on Via De Ventura to talk about how we are going to get rid of Kiva and cash in on that one too. Let's just keep this post on the down-low.

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