Sneaking Around in Disguise
Ok, so by now, everyone knows that on Friday I made a little snap inspection at the Mojave District Annex and you know what, I always call it MO JA VEY and did not even know it was pronounced MO HA VEY, but that is what learning is all about. Okay, back on point. After we helped Sandy unlock her door so she could get out of her house, I got a text message from ACF (code name of Alexis Cruz-Freeman) on the Bat-Phone, which is the secret burner I have to use for District business so that the communications stay out of the reach of subpoenas - Pam turned us on to this idea and said she used this technique when sneaking around on her ex with a certain VP, the former mayor of PV. Did you know that VP, the former mayor of Paradise Valley, actually narced out her ex-husband before her marriage hit the fan and told Pam he spotted her ex in an airport with another woman and they looked a wee bit more than chummy. I wonder what he received in turn for that wee bit of secret agent man information?
Okay, back on point. Okay, so I get this text from ACF, the principal at Pima, telling me to hot-foot it over to the Mojave Annex, that there is a little rebellion going on amongst the principals. See, this is when the principals were supposed to be calling the teachers and asking the teachers if they were going to come back to work on Monday, but ACF gave us the intel on this and said that the non-Birdwell principals tipped off their teachers in advance and told them not to answer their phones. So even though they were calling the teachers, no one picked up their phone. So I just got angrier and angrier at the situation, and I let the F-bomb fly and I said, listen here, you will do as I say and call and call and call or you are all in big trouble. They did not really respond to my threat because I then realized that because Pam made me wear this disguise, no one actually knew that it was me. Here is my disguise and I think you can see why they were confused, but let me know if you can tell it was me.
Ok, well now I know why my authority as President of the Governing Board was not respected and my instructions were not followed. I did want to apologize for F-bombing the principals in front of Amy Fuller, for tipping off those lazy teachers but then I would give away my disguise. Also, just so you know, I went on this rant about the abuse of social media and how it is affecting me personally with these fake websites that make me out to be really stupid and believe you me I will get those lazy illegal teachers if it is the last thing I do. Oh yea, we have a Board meeting tomorrow, and it is at 10:00 am and there will be no public comment, which is so great. Best of all, I got a new Gavel and it is made of titanium and has a wood veneer, and I think it will help with my carpal tunnel syndrome. Hey if you have never worn a wig, it is very hot under one of these things.
Hey, does anyone know if Alexis Cruz-Freeman is Mexican or Jewish? I wonder that because she is really hard working, but a little tricky you know with that salary thing. Lots of people think I'm Jewish because of the "berg" at the end of my name, and when they ask me about it, I say well I have a story for you. I have a grandfather who died in Auschwitz when he fell out of a guard tower. I don't like to tell people that often, because they look at me funny, so when they ask if I'm Jewish I just say no, I'm not smart enough.
Okay, I have to get ready to gavel. Nite nite.